aMyth

christmas nanaman!

2005-12-03T19:06:02Z

oh gosh... malapit na ulit magchristmas...

well, anyway, i'm already broke! i'm soooo bad when it comes to saving up or budgeting money. the minute you bring me to a mall... and IF i have money.. oh.. expect me to spend it. darn it. especially when it's sale! my my... goodbye savings. well, i just splurged all my savings for clothes! hahahah.. at hunie's gift. eheh.. well that i don't really mind spending on. but then when i look the things i buy for myself, golly.. i could just faint.

but anyways, i don't wanna cry on money spent. at least i enjoyed spending it. hahhaha.. not the after effect though (ahem.. being broke). so.. my dear friends, i'm sorry if i can't give out presents this christmas.. heheh.. i believe i've been generous for the past holidays naman.. hahah.. and birthdays.. (which reminds me, i haven't given nix's bday gift to her)..

it's already 3 am and i'm still awake. it's what you call insomia..

but then, just spend time wisely dba? i'm studying accounting.. hahah.. yuk. nerd. hahha... bakit ba??? beh!

feeling down

2005-08-09T14:00:16Z

things have been quite... i dunno... fucked up lately. i can't take back things i did. i can't take back things i said. it would even be more complicated. right? and... with what i've been seeing right now, it's just the way i predicted it would be. he'll never get her out of his life. that's... unfortunately for me, a fact. and well, i've given up on trying... i did want it to work. i did give it my best. but there are things that are really... inevitable. and... there's nothing you can do or change about it, no matter how much you want to.

well, now... i'm happy. i'm happy for myself. another chapter of my life has been opened. and... it's about time i say goodbye to the past. i'm just really sorry things have to end this way. but what the hell, life's like that..

THANKS!!! :)

2005-07-03T01:20:01Z

guys, thanks sa lahat... alam nyo kung sino kayo. heheh... now my bday seems a lil more happy. hahhaha.. deh joke. happy na naman talaga. i mean, just thinking that i have my friends with me. natutuwa nako ng sobra. haAaAay, basta tnx for everything!

birthday blues

2005-06-25T03:50:23Z

barely two weeks from now, i'll be in legal age already! yeah, i'm turning 18. and i really don't know what to feel or how to react. i'm quite confused with a lot of stuff. and basically, i just deal with it by not trying to care or by trying to look unaffected (maybe that's why i love the song unaffected by hoobastank). sometimes it just gets tiring trying to fix things in your life. there's this problem in school, family and uhhh.. yeah, include the love life too. so much for a "happy" birthday. i don't even want to celebrate anymore. i mean, wala nakong gana. i just feel tired. . . estoy cansado! estoy mal tambien. no se que yo quiero. . . (is that right spanish? i better brush up on my spanish) well anyways, it's just so hard trying to find the energy to smile. or to look forward.

i also miss some of my friends. those who are not here most especially... ram, di and hans... i really miss them. they, together with some other friends, have given me the best birthday last year. and i don't really know what to feel 'bout this year. everything sucks. a few more blows and i'm about to breakdown and just cry. i want to cry my eyes out. fudge talaga. . .

**by the way, i'm running another journal or blog.. wutever you call it in friendster... heheh.. para isahan na lang yung pagcheck koh ng account and ng blog. weheheh... it's http://kc_amyth.blogs.friendster.com/amyth/

and i write again...

2005-05-11T15:10:07Z

heheh... for some funny reason, i just wanted to write again. school has been very hectic and i just found no time in using my LJ again. but anyway, i'm baaaaaack! and it really feels good to just be able to write what i want to say and not care if others give a damn. heheh.. (bakit ba? LJ koh toh eh...) hahah..

i was so stressed this afternoon... i looked like some lost kid when i entered mocha blends. i didn't have the energy to put a smile on. and i just sat there.... on the floor... busy sobra! hindi koh nafeel yung summer koh! (well, i did get a taste of summer when i went to the beach.. hahah.. yihee... fun!) but, here comes reality again.. back to school! haaaay!

hmMm.. i just hope i'd be able to keep this up.. i mean.. baka mamaya mag-panic mode nanaman ako. at magbreak down na lang. hahha.. tsk tsk...

kc_amyth @ 2005-02-25T01:20:00

2005-02-24T17:46:42Z

hmMmM.. well, i know my last entry was sort of "bitter" or wutever. it's just that.. yeah, it's how i felt. but to see things clearly, and to have everything settled, i took the time to think. and to decide on things. i do hope i made the right decision though. i do hope... that in time, everything will turn out fine. better, in fact...

ANYWAY! heheh... i really haven't had the time to write an entry so it took me... hmmm... long enough to update my journal. school STILL is a hassle. it's killing me. hahah..

"if it doesn't kill you, it makes you STRONGER..."

and i've died a few times already... somehow, i'm still alive. so i guess i am sort of stronger.

hmMm... hahah... i just thought how my valentines went. hahah.. i dunno if i should describe it as funny, frustating or unique. hahah.. gid and i had a "fight". coz he was wanted to surprise me.. he told me his ptour out-of-town activity is from 14 to 16 of feb. so... there.. i thought he was in ilocos norte.. but no!!! surprise pala dapat! and.. things just didn't go as planned. coz i had to do something at jia's house. (ES case study).. hahah... but, it's still a sweet thing to do.. (kahit palpak) hahahha... (peace tyo by...)

haay. right now, i'm just hoping i'll have time to finish all my school work... dami! heheh... goodluck to all those whose days are loaded w/ school work.. heheh.. kaya natin toh.. har har...

i wish i wasn't

2005-02-05T14:17:02Z

know the song i wish i wasn't? by heather headley? i think i already posted the lyrics here.. waaayy back. but i'm not sure. but anyway, it's my song for the moment. right now, i just feel numb. numb of everything, free of any emotion, nothingness... that's all i can feel right now. i ask myself, "why does it have to happen again? why do i have to go through this again?" i'm so tired... of everything. i'm soooo tired. i've exhausted my heart again. and all for this. for this crap. i trusted him. i believed him.. no doubts, no nothing. but sad to say.. it was all for nothing. maybe i really do need to live alone. maybe... love isn't really meant for me... it's just so painful. i'm hurting soo bad. now, love has, again, become a word for me. it does not have feelings.. it does not have emotions.. only thoughts, imagination... and i tried to live my life in that dream. a dream i was bound to wake up from.. and here i am right now.. back in reality. in one corner of my world, alone... and numb.. here, i wait on death. i wait for his call... ... ... ...

post-PHOBIA

2005-01-30T09:31:06Z

so many interesting and not to mention EXHAUSTING things happened to me this week. aside from the usual school work i have expected to do, there's tons of activites that squeezed into my sked. well, here's one surprising news i have: i'm runnin' for block t representative in sanggu. hahah.. after half a year's passivity.. here i go again. yeah, i know. as what my colleagues have said before, "go beyond your limits." so i will!

>>etoh pa.. hahah.. finally, i talked to my ex na. i've been trying to get in touch w/ him since last week. i really need to get my jacket from him. he has my addidas jacket.. old school pa man din.. dang... gosh, and when i talked to him, it seems as if everything he says is untrue. i can't seem to trust his words anymore. hahah.. wutever... i don't really care. i used to.. but now.. i just feel sorry for him. tsk tsk..

anyway, let's go the more EXCITING part of my story... it's about PHOBIA. so what enters your thoughts when you hear phobia? hMmmMMMm... actually, it's a kind of an "amazing race-fear factor" fused into one kind of game. we had to complete 9 tasks in different stations. and believe me, it's not that so-so game. it's tiring, and icky, but... FUN! so here are some of the unusual stuff we had to do:

kostka station: all four of us (Miggy, Rocky, Patsy, and I) had to be blindfolded. we were to guess what's inside a containter assigned to us. miggy's and rocky's were both easy!!! marbles and egg yolk. hello??!! mine was... ewww.... lizard! yuk yuk yuk... and patsy's.. hmmm.. even more yuk.. pig's eyeball!! hahahaha

berchmans station (3rd floor): we had to get 2 marshmallows and 2 marbles from a basin full of pig's blood using a teeny-tiny spoon... yukkkk!!! miggy and rocky were in a hurry that they got the marshmallows. and patsy and i were left w/ the marbles.. gosh.. c patsy nga madaya eh!!!! we just pretended that he got the marble out... (we did it when the persons in charge weren't looking).. and as for me! gosh.. i had a difficut time gettin it the marble out of the basin. i don't even know where the marble was. so the official said i could go get it w/ my teeth... and I DID THAT! ewwwwwww!!! my face was full of blood after that. hay nku.. the things you do...

faura station: yeah.. we thought this was so easy. we were told to do 5 push ups each.. so we thought.. "wow.. nice.. dali ah" and then! naku naku... we were told we had to disect a frog! i didn't even disect a frog when i was in hiskul! i skipped that part of the lab test! grr... poor mr. frog. he had to suffer from the blades of a cutter.. not even a scalpel or wutev.... brutal way of dyng.. tsk tsk...

soccer field station (last one): yeah... bwct. i had a number of cuts from this challenge. we had to do a mudslide. as in slide. but duh? kaya nga mud eh! how come there are rocks??!! now my arms and legs are all bruised.. **note: my mom kept on accusing me of going through hazing

well, sad thing is.. we finished fourth... dang... kahit 3rd man lang sana... but no can do.. next year na lang!! hMmm! better plan.. more practice.. hahahha... it was still a fun experience. extraordinary, i may say. and for my teammates... Patsy, Miggy & Rocky, you guys were great! had fun doin this w/ all of you. heheh.. tnx tnx! next time.. hmmMmMM... we'll finish first! heheh...

oh yeah, tnx for the encouragement and support Jia and Mischel. heheh.. congrats pala on the semis.. (yikee... jia! mythical 5) hahahha!!!

leche...

2005-01-18T08:33:36Z

well, i'm in caf up right now.. doing something for fil. dang... i should be in our condo right now, studying for my lit midterms. this week is such hassle! think MIDTERMS... yeah, how lucky could we get? consecutive days of exams.. haaay nku. well, that's college life. hahah.. i'm still quite amazed.. using the net right here in the caf. harhar.. technology.. bite me. well, gtg for now.. busy busy busy!

omg.. happy birthday san...

2005-01-16T12:38:49Z

time really does fly by that fast. i didn't even notice that san's birthday is...

...SHET TOMORROW!

shux! (panic mode) waaahhH! that really slipped from my mind. ohhHHh... sorry san! that's ok though.. celebration's still on sat. and it hasn't struck 12 yet. so i'd be able to greet her later. heheheh... anyway, happy birthday san san!

in just a few hours, you'll be entitled to priviledges of an "adult". hahah.. although we really do get to experience these privilegdes 'coz they think we're old. (hmMmm.. is that a good thing or a bad thing?)

anyway, i've got to study for my exams... haaayy.. gudluck sken...

weedkend getaway...

2005-01-09T07:45:11Z

just got home from Puerto Azul.. heheh.. it's always refreshing to go there. actually, i didn't do anything there! i just slept. and did my lit paper. wow.. nice. right outside the resthouse, waves are splahing onto the sand. and i just stayed in the room. nice karen.. what a way to waste your day. hahah.. still, it was nice getting to see the blue sea. and hearing the cry of the waves. i sat outside the resthouse in this duyan.. and closed my eyes. ang sarap talaga! heheh...

anyway, hi myx! rach! it was nice seeing you too myx. heheh... and it was nice seeing my blockmates again! heheh... wala lang..

i'm gonna rest muna... haaay.. napagod aku...

school's back!

2005-01-02T15:36:42Z

yup yup! just a few more days and we'll all be back to school again! hahaha.. (thank God our classes will start on Wed. harhar!!!) it just gives me enough time to finish all my papers. 6 down.. 2 more to go...!!! hahahah.. and if i'm in the mood tonight, i might just finish my 2nd to the last paper.. i just hope i don't get sleepy. i feel bad for those peepz who will have their classes tom. (hi by.. wawa naman...)

*note lang: (may narinig akung fireworks... hahahah.. anu un? naiwan?)

anyway, i just miss kuku hans, bebe tintin, momo wyna, dodz ram, ping, camille, annie and block t! i miss waking up in the morning and having to see my room in our condo unit. (pero mamaya nyan, magsasawa nanaman aku at can't wait to go home nanaman!) hahahah! well, ayun! lately, i've been quite conscious about the food that i eat. i've been eating veggies, fruits and fish.. rarely meat. actually, i'm avoiding meat na. shet kayanin koh kaya un?? avoid foods that has lots of sugar (yes.. sweets.. desserts! my gosh!), lots of salt, carbo, fatty foods.... ang dami! and i've been trying to figure out what kinds of food are left for me to eat. which brings me to almost nothing... ano ba yan!!!

kc_amyth @ 2004-12-31T00:19:00

2004-12-30T16:41:22Z

can't believe how long i've been sitting here in front of my laptop. my back's starting to ache... (ouch... nangangawit na talaga ako) well, that's what i get for being too good. hahah.. i've been trying to finish some of my papers so i'd avoid cramming. i hate cramming. i usually plan what i have to do. i AM kind of an oc at times. right now, i'm doing a paper on fil. that's only one out of three freakin' papers the class has to do for fil... grrr...

i'm supposed to be grounded today... (actually till the end of the vacation dapat). but i still managed to go out just this afternoon. hahah.. i'm that good. gid and i saw each other. can't believe how much i missed him already. he also gave me his christmas gift! heheh.. yeah, it is pink...

(kc: bilis! clue naman! anu gift mo sken??

gid: basta pink!)

heheh.. it's lacoste touch of pink. wow.. nice.. there! so my day didn't really suck today. it went quite well, actually. the thing is, i still miss him. haay...

anyway, i hope things get better for two of my close friends.. i'll pray for that... i hope they fix things up. friendship has always been very important. and seeing them in this sich really sucks

----2005----

in less than 24 hours, it's another year nanaman! haaay! welcome 2005! another year for us all... it has always given us the idea of a new start.. and all those stuff. well, i do hope we all get to fulfill our new year's resolutions. goodluck to us all.. (lalo na saken) hahahah... which reminds me.. i haven't actually noted down my NY resolution.. hahha.. mamaya na.. aun!

advance HaPpY NeW YeAr!!!

bummer

2004-12-29T14:58:45Z

haaayyyy! would you believe..? i didn't leave the house today! yez! you heard it right. HINDI AKU UMALIS. hahah.. well, that's coz i'm grounded. wow! that's the first time i heard that from my dad though. i've never been grounded ever. well, guess i can't blame him for grounding me. i came home late last night. it was already 12 midnight when i got home. and i was feeling all tipsy... i think i was even smiling while my dad was giving me a lecture on what time i should have gotten home.

bummer. now i'm stuck here at home.

anyway, i really can't do much 'bout it. i just decided to be productive somehow. i cut down some of the papers i had to write. heheh... 2 down, 6 more to go. and i'm trying to do one right now. haaay... how i wish i don't get lazy too soon. (punyeta naman.. kanina pako nagugulat sa paputok!) which reminds me, it's almost new year nanaman. wow... can't believe how fast time flew by. wow talaga...

hans texted me kanina. he was feeling all lonely... see... i'm not the only one who feels lonely at this time of the year. anyway, i just hope everything turns out fine for everyone. i remember him telling me that he would ALSO be leaving to study abroad. i felt all numb and teary. inunahan ba naman aku ni hans... "wag kang iiyak!!!" so i didn't cry! but it's really hard trying to hold back your tears. (promise, i-try mo.. masakit talaga) so i excused myself and went to the ladies room. there, i called tintin and told her what hans told me... haaay... my eyes got all red and chinky when i left the ladies room. ayan tuloy.. naalala koh nanaman. at nalulungkot nanaman aku...

anyway, wag na nga yun! i should really be trying to finish my papers... haaay

kc_amyth @ 2004-12-29T13:50:00

2004-12-29T05:51:06Z

*sigh*

i feel so down.. nagtatampo couz koh sken.. and i feel really bad.. yeah, it was my fault. but i really did not mean to. i've always been there for her. and i let her down.. just when she needed me the most. haAaAy... i really did not realize i was doing that.. now i hope we fix things up...

*sigh*

Christmas blues

2004-12-25T15:45:28Z

isn't it ironic? ... how some people (yes, including me) can feel all gloomy at this time of the year. despite the jolly atmosphere and the never-ending greetings of "merry christmas!"... there are moments that i just find myself thinking all sorts of morose stuff. like 'why didn't i get that gift that my grandma promised?' (how dense! hahahah... ) and 'why does dad have to go to canada?'.. etc. etc...

anyway, enough of those sad thoughts.. it STILL is Christmas after all...

MERRY CHRISTMAS GUYS!

???

2004-12-25T14:43:49Z

roses... are symbols of love

yet somehow, they are worthless

temporary beauties that only fade and die...

how sad, how pathetic...

darn this weather

2004-12-22T15:46:44Z

yihee!!! a new accomplishment for kc! (clap clap clap) my dad allowed me to drive my car without his supervision. woohoo!! oh yeah! nice one kc..
the sad thing is, i feel really sick today. actually, i AM sick. my sickness has gotten worse. haaay.. i'll have trouble asking permission to go out tom. darn... it's one important day pa nman... i'ts hans' beeeeertday. hmm.. and it's also gid's championship game. now in which event will i go to???? hMmMMMMmmmmmMmM... another problem --> will my parents allow me to go out??? <-- badtrip... i hate coughs and colds... this sux...

badtrip talaga

2004-12-21T16:38:44Z

sheesh... i feel damn awful. not only does my throat hurt, it has to come with the unwanted coughs and colds. and to top it all off.. i am not that pleased with how "he" acted. i thought we already talked 'bout that? or did he just forget. oh c'mon... does he really forget that easily? or is it just plain unimportant for him? haaay... i hate this

at a loss

2004-12-21T15:31:12Z

i don't understand you bro... there are times i do... but most of the time i don't. and it hurts being your sis and not really knowing how. i don't know how... don't get me wrong. i'll never let go of what we have. kahit ganito...

chRiStmAs Rush!!

2004-12-20T17:04:33Z

talk about rush! i just went on my christmas shopping today. hahah.. just a few days before christmas. and i didn't even get to buy all the gifts i need. hahahah... nonetheless, it was another memorable day for me. i was with gid almost half of the day, and it was just great. we were our old, usual, comical selves... hmmMMm... i think it has already become our hobby to tease each other. hAaAy.. well... that's part of it. anyway, no time na.... next time na ulit aku magppost!

hate day

2004-12-18T08:09:45Z

how pathetic can people get???! do some brains really cease to function normally at some point that people tend to do stupid things? or are those people just plain stupid? GRRRR! i can't help but get pissed... imagine... being all shallow and trying to pick a fight. a fight that's not supposedly theirs. duh.. ano kayo? superhero? hhhmmmp!

i try not to get myself involved. i try not to get pissed... i try to hide that sometimes, I DO GET JEALOUS! 'coz i am just a normal human being who can feel all sorts of emotions! and i don't really wanna give a damn! i tried... but NOOOO... they just don't know when to stop!

and now i'm the bad guy?! oh yeah... great... just great...

words of a lost soul

2004-12-14T16:30:43Z

XII

after timeless decades, i hear from him again

after days of placidness... of no tumult,

he, once again, touches my thoughts

i feel my kness bend from the sudden filch of power;

of strength i have taken so long to build,

to foster, to finally get hold of.

my heart lets itself be heard...

from the deepest depth of my chest, it shivers from pain.

and again, it bled...

with old scars, it wounds itself again.

again and again... and again... for the nth time

XIV

he has, unknowingly, triumphed against my wishes

just when i thought he has long been past

just when i thought i am completely another's

but is this what reality really means?

or is it just a state of mind that plays with the whole of me?

pretend... that is all i am to do...

then slowly die

with the last hope of living again,

i close my eyes

and let the darkness consume me..

-kcsr

sunday = tamad day

2004-12-12T14:41:50Z

yeah.. it's sunday today. and as usual, i'm feeling all tamad. just think, i have to go to school again tomorrow. ewww... what a thought. although i don't really hate mondays. (my monday sched isn't that bad. i only go to class for 3 hours..) hmmm... yeah, but i have to endure an hour with j***mela's boring lecture. how awful.. hahah..

i was supposed to go to Ateneo this morning 'coz i have this volleyball exhibition game for my PE class... (why on earth did i take advance volleyball again???) well, i didn't go 'coz:

i'm sleepy 'coz i only had 3 hours of sleep
i got all lazy (it's sunday, remember??)
we already planned to go shopping

here's the thing, don't ask what happened to that shopping thing. 'coz i SHOULD have gone to the volleyball game instead. LECHE! 2 cuts pa man din yun. i didn't buy anything during our shopping. 'coz i had my eyes on this certain gift. BUT... but but but... i didn't get to have it. damn... so depressing... and so i went home feeling all down. the only thing that once again revived my cheerfulness is getting to drive my car. hahah.. yeah.. i'm beginning to get the hang of it. i do hope i can bring my car to katipunan after Christmas break. that would be nice.

ANYWAY, i have to continue doing my english paper. hahahah... i need to fill 3 more pages worth of words.. shux... goodluck saken. hahahha...

bye bye single life...

2004-12-09T14:15:49Z

hahah.. as of yesterday, i have officially left the single life again.. woohoo.. hahah... i've been wanting to write all about it since. hmm... monday. but i found myself busy.. texting u-know-who. hahahah.. anyway, it's this time again. and well... i'm happy! love really has its ups and downs. and after a not-so-good ending from my previous relationship, i thought it would take me months to trust someone w/ my heart again. it's all about risk!!! haayyy.. I LOVE YOU GID!!!!